Why a Remembrall is at the top of Voldemort's Christmas list

Greatest Dark Wizard of all time? I don't think so.
Anyone else notice how forgetful Voldemort is?

Seriously, Death Eaters, get your boss a Remebrall. It would save you the pain and frustration of dealing with his excessively violent mood swings.

If He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had a Remembrall he could have been like, "A phoenix! My Remembrall is glowing red... oh right! Phoenixes have healing powers! Probably shouldn't let it get too close to that Basilisk's wound in Potter's arm."

But no. He forgot.
Down goes the first Horcrux.

Furthermore, if Lucius Malfoy was such a hot shot in the Ministry, why didn't he just get the Dark Lord a Time-Turner? He probably could have pulled some strings or Imperiused the right people.

I'm guessing Voldemort forgot that possibility too.

Not to mention his extreme ignorance regarding the Deathly Hallows. He only cared about the Elder Wand, which turned out to be terribly short-sighted. He had been searching for immortality for such a long time and then only settled for the Death Stick when he could have been the Master of Death.

Tsk tsk.

Overall, none of this would have happened if only he had remembered in the VERY beginning the most ancient and powerful magic of all.

Love.

Love was what protected Harry Potter and made the Killing Curse rebound back on Voldemort, draining him of his power and forcing him into hiding for 10 years.

But he forgot that itty-bitty piece of information.

It seems like the Dark Lord could use a little help. So I've made out Voldemort's Christmas List in case any Death Eaters out there can't think of anything better than Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

Gift Ideas for Voldemort:

1. A soul.
Hey, his is kinda stretched at the moment.

2. A Remembrall.
His forgetfulness keeps foiling his plans!

3. A nose.
Maybe he wouldn't be so scary and could make some friends.


Just make sure it's a tasteful selection.

4. A manicure of 20 sickle value at Bambi Bovary's Beauty Boutique.
This salon was suggested by Reeta Skeeter.

5. A puppy!
That snake is kinda creepy.

Just don't say
To Tom: From your loyal servant.
Voldemort is not on a first name basis with anybody.

Happy Holiday shopping Death Eaters!