Sunday, December 26, 2010

Pending inventions that will make the world a much better place

Seems like a lot of the technology actually makes our lives harder. I have to keep up with over three different email accounts to stay informed, keep track of ipods, cellphones, laptops, etc., and I can't really say that these things actually make my life easier... They can entertain me sure, but they aren't exactly life changing tools.
So I'm going to invent some actually useful technology, things that will change people's lives.

1. A Perspectimodifyer:
A device that changes the color of a calculated vicinity by turning a dial. So with the turn of a dial the area could go from looking colorful and vibrant to a scene resembling an old photograph. This device also aids in decision making when you simply wish to see things in black and white. Also, the principle reverses so that gray, dreary days and your mood can be transformed with more cheery colors.

2. A Happy Inhaler:
This device is like an asthma inhaler and has a similar purpose. When your throat closes up in panic or sadness just take a reassuring puff from the inhaler. The chemicals react with the memory part of the brain as well as the pleasure centers so that you are not happy for no reason, but a special memory is recalled giving the Happy Inhaler a longer lasting effect. The chemicals are non-toxic but should be used in moderation not exceeding 5 puffs. It is not intended to replace your therapist or other healthy coping abilities.

3. A Mood Ring...
... that actually works. The world would be a much more conscientious place if you wore your heart on your sleeve, or your finger. However, if you wanted to hide your feelings then you simply took the ring off. Though having a unimposing "Do Not Disturb" sign on your hand could have its purposes. An add on would be the Proper Theme Music Diamond insert. This gem contains a tiny micro chip that can store up to 100 songs and transmits waves to a nearby radio to play the music. When the chip senses a significant mood the music will play.

4. A Unicorn:
This cross breeding marvel will greatly aid the police forces in major cities. A police officer would look far more imposing atop a unicorn, with it's sharp, yet magical horn glinting in the sun. However, special guards would need to be fitted around the horn to prevent the possibility of a civilian being impaled.

Also, unicorn bone marrow, though not human, has special properties benefitting leukemia patients due to the high white blood cell count. The unicorn's horn is actually a byproduct of their insanely high white blood cell count. You see "horn" is somewhat of a silly term because the protrusion is actually a bone.

It will be a lot of work creating these marvelous inventions, but it will be worth it to make the world a better place. Should my efforts fail, I wish for someone else to carry out my dream.

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