When I was a kid Queen Susan and Prince Caspian didn't kiss... And 10 other things I'll tell my kids one day

My dad told me that he walked a couple of miles to school every morning even in the snow, that he lived on a farm and went to work (real work not part-time job work) and supported himself at nineteen. That got me thinking, how are things going to change by the time I have kids and what stories will I tell them?
11 things I can't wait to tell my kid about

1) Some day my kid will home to tell me excitedly about what he learned that day in science class. I will wait patiently for the day when he tells me, "There are 8 planets in our galaxy!" Then I'll drop this bomb.
When I was a kid, there were 9 planets in our galaxy.
His eyes would probably grow wide with mingled awe and acute confusion. Since he is my child, his mind would probably automatically jump to a missel testing experiment going horribly awry. Oh I can't wait for that, I hope I have a camera nearby.


2) There were these things called cassette tapes, and you had to rewind them. He would probably think I was a dinosaur.


3) I watched 2 dimensional cartoons, and they were way better.


4) When I was a kid there was this awesome thing called capitalism where your individual rights were actually recognized.


5) Wishbone was on TV


6) Books actually had pages.


7) I'll show him the scar I got from a slip 'n' slide


8) On Saturdays it was worth getting up early for the cartoons


9) The-Floor-Is-Lava game was better than any XBox


10) Light up sneakers were cool

11) Queen Susan and Prince Caspian didn't kiss, seriously Hollywood?

Never Happened.